Hello anonymous friend! I graduated last month with my bachelors in English Lit!
You don’t have to be gray faced y'know
Five things that make me happy:
1.) Oh my gosh the new friends I’ve made this summer, it’s perfect.
2.) The rough exterior of my depression is literally GONE. I’m managing quite well.
3.) Someone complementing me at my job, this one lady called me an angel. I about cried.
4.) Steven Universe. I need to catch up on it tho.
5.) The idea that for so long I thought Jesus’ love had become so conditional. But it never was. He took care of me so well.
Tagging free for all, if you see it you got it. Lol
I was tagged by ninjakd and I get so excited about being tagged in things that I want to answer these questions for this blog too! Also Kadie is pretty cool. :)
1) why did you choose your url?
Oh this is my original tumblr and I tell you what, when I first started college I thought I was so cool. This blog too, was Coldplay lyric based. The song for this one was “Sleeping Sun” which was one of their B-sides from the “X&Y” album.
2) what is your middle name?
Lynn, there are so many people that have this middle name. I always think it’s so cool.
3) if you could own a fairytale/fictional pet, what would it be?
A talking Panda. omg.
4) favourite color?
Purple. Lighter shades of it make me paralyzed with happiness.
5) favourite song?
Which song garnered the most tears this week? “To Build A Home” by Cinematic Orchestra
6) what are your top five fandoms?
Steven Universe, Misfits (very recent), Tegan And Sara, Coldplay, Carey Mulligan’s beautiful face.
7) why do you enjoy Tumblr?
I come here sometimes to hide.
8) tag all of your tumblr crushes baes (they do the 8 questions too): No thank you :)
I DID TOO REBLOG IT, but shpanks :)
7.The thing is if I trust someone greatly it goes along with me loving them very much. But if they were exclusive I would have to say I’d rather be hurt be someone I trust. I’ve experienced the other option and it never stops hurting.
13. It was around April of last year, it was one of my friends that I cared about very much and I needed to be honest with her about my feelings for her, that I had fallen in love with her. Even though i knew that she couldn’t reciprocate it, the remainder of our friendship wouldn’t have been honest if I hadn’t told her. It was something I didn’t even realize was how I felt until I realized and accepted my sexuality and I felt she deserved that honesty as being honest was the one thing I was focused on last year. I don’t regret it, but I also hate that our friendship was compromised because of it. Like I really hate it.
15. The first thing I thought of when I saw this question was the struggle that I had to overcome with whether or not being Bi was a sin or not. God had given me so much peace about it, but it was Christians that made me feel this violent feeling of needing to get it away from me. So if I had to give up this part of myself that He’s revealed to me, after all I went through to get to this point in Christ–well it would make me very upset to say the very least. I don’t have words for how that would make me feel. I just…
17. The ministry that I’m apart of had a training weekend last month and I couldn’t make it there because of circumstances. I would have changed it to where I could have gone. I still think about it cause this ministry means so much to me. I could go on for hours about what I’ve had to deal with in ministry and how it has all been worth it because I love what I do, Life with Jesus, I tell ya.
I don’t know it came down to a lot. I was able to get through today only because God made it possible. It’s unspeakable how it would have ended if it’d been up to me. And I was so thankful for my friends, they didn’t have to come but they did and my friend Savannah made the whole day about me, completely. 80s movies, Grey’s Anatomy, ice cream, coloring. The things that kept my mind off of things. And so the very thing that had me thinking that college was going to kill me, my friendships, was the very thing God used to keep alive today. And I dunno I think that’s pretty cool.
However fielding inquiries about post grad plans is rather emotionally tiresome. But like not answering to people I’m in community with, it’s more answering to older people that expect me to have something lined up. It keeps reminding me that I’m not done.
FYI: The plan is to stay alive. I’m gonna guess that’s good enough for a lot of people.